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Fools the the left and jokers to the right!

American Idol Blow by Blow

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First up is Lil Rounds I’m Every Woman. Chaka Kahn:
Why is she still here. Why is she still singing. She is boring. She can’t sing. She argues and doesn’t make her case. So….. not only can she not sing…she can’t debate. Why is she still here?????? Chaka Kahn would be rolling around in her grave….is she were dead. Which she is not…… But I am sure Lil’ Rounds doesn’t know that!!!!!! And what is with the wiggs… Dude…stop with the wiggs…. And I put an extra g in there because her wiggs are extra cheesy…… What the hell…please don’t vote for her.

– Randy is trying to be nice. You aren’t showing us what kind of artist you are. No vocal control.
– Kara… She says that it wasn’t worth the wait. Now….as usual Kara talks forever and just when I think she is going to shut up…she keeps talking. What is it with her….she makes me crazy. Why keep talking…why pause like you are done and keep talking. You are a pain in the ass. Stop talking. Everything after “it wasn’t worth the wait” is a waste of my time! Here is when I stop listening to Kara… “and the thing is”….. Done. Stop talking.
– Paula reveals that Lil’ was having voice troubles… but once again her point is prescient.
– Simon tells it like it is and tells the truth as it is…. “Lil starts to argue and she looks like a loser….” Simon says that we will not be seeing her again…and he is right. Lil’ says that she was not Karaoke….but no one sais she was….. God please let her go home…. Please don’t vote for her….

On a scale of 1-10 Lil gets a 4.

A commercial note….. The new Tom Hanks movie looks like a repeat of “The Da Vinci Code”…. Man, please do “Big Two” already.

— Kris Allen is up now.  I love him. His arrangements are awesome. His vocals are always strong. He is my true winner this year. His album will be awesome. And he is going to take on Donna Summer… “She Works Hard For The Money”. Cant wait!!!!!
Absolutely cool…. An all acoustic performance. The dude is a true artist! Kris and Simon are wearing the same T-Shirt. The only thing better would be Jen Lowe playing the box drum!!!! Kris was awesome…. A 10. I got man love for him. Hot Hot Hot. Great performance.

– Kara is first. She tells him that he took a true risk. She says that it paid off big time. She said the phrase “Four on the Floor” She is a dumbass… But she was right.
– Paula says that he sounded like “Santanna” Exactly right. She says that he shops in the women’s department…Simon wonders if Kris buys women’s underwear.
– Simon says that it was awesome. It was a fantastic performance. Wurd
– Randy says that Kris is ready for the big time. Randy talks about his great arrangements…. Dawg…….

I am going to pick a complete upset now. Kris could win the whole thing.

On a scale of 1-10 Kris gets a 10.

— Danny Gokey does Earth Wind & Fire “September”
Danny was my early favorite and I think he can still win. He sounds awesome and adds his own touch. Danny has lost some weight…Danny is a real pro. His voice sounds great…he controls the stage….He is the real deal.

– Randy is first…Randy was worried about the song choice and worried about the melodic range of the song…and gives Danny props for making the song awesome.
– Kara….blagh blagh blagh blagh. She things he is an incredibel vocalist and she gives him props for another solid performance. Worries that he will not be remembered.
– Paula gives Danny props for an outstanding vocal and thinks his vocal is Sexxy
– Simon agrees with everyone buts doesn’t think Danny gave a star power performance. He thinks the performance was awkward. Man…he is right. Simon is right and I hate to admit it.

Danny gets a 7 out of 10

— Allison Iraheta sings “Hot Stuff”.
The weirdo is sitting on the steps and has 24 inch heels on. Her voice sounds great though. I just think she is weird. She is not on melody and is killing a great song. She is killing me… not good my dear. not good. How can you make this song boring. I thing she needs to be doing the pelvic thrust when she says “Hot Hot Hot” Not good…..
– Randy says “yo”. He has two things…He didn’t love the arrangement but….hang on….He things she is one of the best singers in the competition. He didn’t love the arrangement but he loves her.
– Kara…Blah Blah Blah. She said exactly what Randy Said…Why is she here?
– Paula said that she ….I really don’t understand what she is saying. She thinks the last note was off the charts.
– Simon things she was going to come into the week as an underdog and then tells her that it was a brilliant performance… I don’t agree with him this time.

Allison gets a 6 out of 10

— Adam Lambert is up. (If I Can’t Have You)
How over the top can he get this time. I actually threw up in my mouth last week while he was singing “Born To Be Wild” so it can’t get any worse for me. Adam is going with the clean look this week. God D*** it. He is starting strong. The melody is getting lost though. I think this may be his worst performance. I don’t even recognize the song. He just screamed again with his tongue out… What is this song. I sounds nothing like the original.

– Randy, Adam, Dawg, one of the things that should be happening is that you should show your range. You are ready right now Randy says.
– Kara. Blah Blah Blah. You are brilliant. I love you . You look like Travolta meets Clark Kent. What the hell.
– Paula says the never questions her love for Adam. She is crying….Oh my god. Paula is crying… Awesome, brilliant, you are the best.
– Simon would have put $10,000 that he would have picked a Donna Summer Song. Simon says that his version was soooo different…and he is right. It didn’t sound like any song ever sung…

Adam gets my usual 1 out of 10. Adam Sucks.

— It is Matt Giraud time. “Stayin Alive” A perfect song for him.
I think it is awesome. Although I can’t stand his falsetto. His vocals are on tonight. He looks like a star already. Damn…his falsetto will kill him on this one. I would love to have heard him do a kickin’ piano solo…Welcome to the bottom three my friend. I hate that. I hate to say that but it is true.
– Randy didn’t like the song choice or arrangement but thinks he can really really sing.
– Kara blah blah blah…she thinks he brought disco back. She likes to see him move and likes the vocal. She thinks he was solid.
– Paula thinks that Matt was awesome and thinks he will be back
-Simon didn’t like the performance. He wants Matt to get out of Idol land and thinks he sounded desperate…. Simon is right.

Matt gets a 6 out of 10

— Anoop Desai closes the show with “Dance The Night Away”
What is up with the “stach” Anoop grew a mustache. He sounds absolutely awful. I love Anoop too. He has a great voice….but he is not in the mode of the song. This is the worst of the night. I hate to say it becuase I love Anoop….but that was just aweful.
– Randy hated the song but thinks Anoop can really sing. Randy says “Anoop…Nice baby Nice”
– Kara—blah blah blah… She likes him tonight and thinks this is one of his best.
– Paula- She loves the look and the growth. “Real Men Know How To Wear Pink” Wow…she is really on tonight. Paula likes his teeth.
– Simon thinks it was mediocre at best… and he is right. It was a horrible version of the song. Yep…Again… Randy is right.
– The stupidist line of the night comes from Ryan… He actually said that Anoop’s Eyebrows look like Groucho Marks… That is a douche bag comment.

Anoop gets a 5 out of 10.

My Rank goes like this:

1 – Kris Allen
2 – Danny Gokey
3 – Matt Giraud
4 – Allison Iraheta
5 – Adam Lambert
6 – Lil Rounds
7 – Anoop Desai

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Written by Glen Pridgen

April 22, 2009 at 6:17 am

Posted in Music

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